How to overcome the fear of being alone

The fear of being alone is the excessive and disproportionate rejection of being left alone in discomfort and intensity. This psychological phenomenon is incredibly common even among people who have many friends, harmonious family life, and constant contact with other individuals. This fear is manifested through negative thoughts about a hypothetical future, characterized by isolation and lack of emotional connection with people who are important to the individual. The person who is afraid of being alone is obsessed with the thought that he will suffer from impotence, lack of love, lack of company and lack of understanding of others.

The fear of being left alone can be managed and overcome. The key is to identify it and then work on it to overcome that fear.

Signs that reveal the fear of being alone

The following signs reveal the fear of being alone. The sooner you realize that you are suffering from this fear, the better you will be able to fight them.

1. Need for human contact

Those who are afraid of being left alone attend many social events to meet new people with whom to bond in the future.

2. Pragmatic perspective of relationships

Those who suffer from this fear have a pragmatic view of interpersonal relationships. They want to establish an emotional bond with anyone. They don’t care if they have a genuine interest in the other person. Instead, they seek effective stability in the future with any individual.

3. Seek external approval

Those who are afraid of being alone seek the acceptance and approval of others. They think that if they are alone, others will think negatively of them. This makes them not express themselves as they are.

4. They do not value family relationships

Those who are afraid of being alone do not value family relationships as they should be. They believe that family members are close to them only by blood ties and not by choice. This idea is wrong because family love goes beyond blood ties and manifests itself in a genuine way.

5. Avoid being alone

Those who are afraid to stay alone avoid this situation as much as possible. If they have to stay alone in some place due to some other circumstance, they will desperately seek someone’s company. This reveals a great fear of confronting oneself and seeing aspects of one’s identity that one does not like. It also denotes a lack of self-esteem that deepens being alone.

Causes that generate the fear of being alone

The fear of being left alone has several causes that are worth knowing to understand this problem and then overcome it.

1. Lack of self-confidence

Those who do not trust themselves believe that they are not on the same level as others. Therefore, they feel inferior to others and believe that they will be left out.

2. Shyness

Those who are shy are afraid of being left alone forever because they believe that they cannot establish new interpersonal relationships and have relationship anxiety. They feel an extreme fear of rejection from others and therefore prefer not to expose themselves to this situation. Shy people believe that they have limitations when it comes to relating to others, so they fear being alone in the future.

3. Physical illnesses and mental illnesses

Those who have gone through physical illness or really serious mental illness are afraid to be alone because they do not want to be a burden to others. They believe that they will be abandoned in the future and thus will be completely unprotected.

4. Idealization of interpersonal relationships

Some people are afraid to be alone because they have overly idealized interpersonal relationships. They have a high level of what a friendship, a love affair, or a family bond should look like. Not reaching that ideal, they fear being alone forever.

5. Social differences in their environment

Some older adults fear being alone because they feel misunderstood by new generations who have other values. They feel that they will be displaced and therefore left alone. The same goes for people who have emigrated to other countries. They belong to a different culture and think that they will be excluded from the society in which they live.

How to deal with this fear

The fear of being left alone can be managed through various valuable ideas that will make you understand this situation and change your behavior for the better.

1. Mental flexibility

As amazing as it sounds, you can manage your fear of being left alone if it makes your thoughts more flexible. Your beliefs about being alone may have been wrong. All you have to do is identify them and consciously criticize them. Draw new conclusions and replace these beliefs with concepts that make you feel good. Finally, it generates alternative ideas that are functional for a harmonious life.

2. Identify fears

Face the fears of being alone. Observe them carefully without judging them. Then organize an action plan to reconcile with those fears. Finally, you have to downplay them, and you will see that you will project a reality where being alone will be a great opportunity to be with yourself.

3. Release a past of abandonment

You may have experienced family abandonment during your childhood or adolescence. First of all, you need to know that this situation has nothing to do with you. The individual who leaves is the one who has profound deficiencies, not you. Forgive this individual. You were never to blame for this circumstance.

4. Identify images

Consider images that relate to being alone. This will help you to rationalize your fear of being left alone. Thanks to this, you will clearly understand your fear and you will be able to overcome it.

5. Eliminate the need

The important thing to understand is that you don’t need others to be okay. Cultivate self-love and you will feel good naturally. The quality of your interpersonal relationships will greatly improve. You will love being alone with yourself and then with others even more so. You can overcome adversity when you realize that courage is not about getting rid of fear, but about facing it.

How to definitely overcome this fear

The fear of being alone can definitely be overcome by certain strategies to improve your quality of life. Remember to be good to yourself first and then to others.

1. Rewarding activities

Start doing solitude activities that are enjoyable now. For example, go for a walk on a sunny morning, read a book by your favorite author, have a delicious coffee in a stylish cafe, go shopping, and so on.

2. Prioritize yourself

First of all, you have to prioritize. This is achieved through self-knowledge, self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-esteem. You will feel happy to be yourself, and this will be projected externally into your interpersonal relationships.

3. Identify your desires

Your life should be governed by your own desires and not by being accompanied or not. Keep in mind that achieving goals is done individually. That’s why you have to prioritize what you want in life. Keep your mind busy with your goals and the fear of being alone will inevitably go away.

4. Learn new knowledge

Life presents you with daily challenges, and the acquisition of knowledge will help you to overcome them. Focusing on learning new things will eliminate your fear of being alone. Learning requires mental energy. Invest your time in cultivating yourself personally. Rest assured that your fear of being alone will be just a bad memory when you learn to deal with loneliness.

5. Enjoy your passions

When you are alone, take advantage of this valuable time to enjoy your passions. Any option is valid: cooking, weaving, dancing, reading Tarot cards. It’s all about enjoying your time alone. This well-being will be reflected in all areas of your life.

Final thoughts

The fear of being left alone is basically the fear of being alone with oneself because negative thoughts about one’s identity arise. This fear leads one to mistakenly believe that one is not worth enough and needs others to feel good. This is completely false. It must first be accepted and valued in a healthy way. This positive attitude outwardly projects healthy interpersonal relationships, which are maintained from the emotional dependence of others. It is also very helpful to maintain a critical attitude toward one’s own thoughts and externally imposed values. There is a widespread belief that you have to be accompanied to be happy, which is not true. Happiness is born in oneself and then manifests externally.

Fear of being alone actually expresses a fear of abandonment, helplessness, and lack of protection in the future. The individual imagines catastrophic scenarios caused by being alone. This situation manifests an irrational fear as the individual feels great anxiety about something that has not yet happened. The key is to identify this irrationality and use critical thinking to act prudently. The key is to enjoy the present, moving away from non-existent future fears. If you are afraid of being alone, cultivate self-love to prioritize yourself over life. You need to know that you can lead a full life on your own merits, without depending on the company of others. Dare to be yourself and you will feel a wonderful inner release. If you feel alone, all areas of your life will be illuminated.