How to let go of resentment

We all feel resentment, and this is completely normal. However, it can also negatively affect your life significantly. If you want to feel better, you may want to learn to let go of resentment. When practiced in moderation and used for good purposes, resentment can be a motivating force in your life. But when you are allowed to run wild in your life, it has the potential to cause serious harm. In this article, we’ll talk about ways to unleash resentment.

What is resentment?

Resentment sounds like rage, but it’s very different. Anger is the present: something happened that drove you crazy at that moment. Resentment is about the past, something that happened that still drives you crazy today. Anger is almost always based on perceived injustice in your current situation. But on the other hand, resentment is often based on some perceived injustice that happened to you a long time ago.

It is built when we do not get the recognition we deserve for our kindness and effort in a relationship. We devote our time and energy to being generous with others, but it is often at our expense. If we are not careful, resentment can build up if people do not return the same amount.

Resentment can be considered irrational because it focuses on perceived mistakes that have been made by another person rather than on their causes. In other words, people who resent another person often find themselves unable to let go of their feelings toward that particular person. This is due in part to escaping your emotions and not dealing with certain triggers.

7 Ways to Release Resentment

1. Acceptance

Woman with open arms in celebration

Acceptance. It’s the first word you’ll see if you search Google for “ways to let go of resentment.” It is also an important part of understanding the role that resentment plays in your life and how to overcome it. To find peace, you must first accept that resentment is a normal part of life and respond in an empowered way.

Many of us are familiar with the importance of accepting illness, death, loss, and grief. However, many people do not know that acceptance can be so important when it comes to smaller issues such as jealousy, anger, and even happiness. We tend to think that acceptance means approval, but that is not true. You don’t have to approve someone’s actions or behaviors to accept them. Accepting is simply accepting what is happening around you and working from there.

In situations where we feel resentful of another person or their behavior, we may think that by resisting or fighting our feelings, we will create lasting change for ourselves and others. While this may work for some people in some circumstances, this approach often only takes us away from positive results because it causes us unnecessary stress and suffering along the way.

2. Meditation

Resentment is not a fixed entity, that is, it can be changed, altered, and even eliminated. The good news is that the tools for this transformation are within your reach. To let go of resentment, you need to take pity on yourself and those around you. One of the best ways to do this is through meditation. We offer meditation for the practice of anger within our Declutter The Mind app, for free.

Using these practices regularly makes you discover that feelings of compassion arise more naturally in daily life. You will begin to feel more comfortable with your skin and more tolerant of others when anger strikes. You will learn how to manage it instead of letting it take over.

Free meditation appDeclutter The Mind is an application that will teach you to meditate, help you acquire the habit of a common practice and expand your mind to the teachings of mindfulness.

3. Self-knowledge

Self-knowledge is the ability to understand yourself and your habits. When you are self-aware, you have a better idea of ​​what makes you work. By understanding your personality, behavior, and feelings, you can learn ways to improve and better manage the relationships in your life.

To improve your self-awareness, examine your thoughts and feelings honestly. See if they are consistent or not with how you want to look or what kind of person you want to be. If not, make a conscious effort to change those behaviors that do not align with how you want others to perceive you.

Being self-aware will help you to let go of resentment. It helps to cultivate greater emotional intelligence, which includes awareness of the emotions of others and our moods and reactions. This knowledge helps us to understand why we feel negative emotions such as anger, guilt, or shame, and provides clarity on how to respond instead of reacting to certain situations to overcome those negative emotions that trigger resentment for a perceived wrongdoing. by another person.

4. Healing an old trauma

Two women in conversation sitting at a table

If you want to let go of your resentment and bitterness, you have to deal with the traumas of the past. You can’t move forward with a heavy load that weighs on you, so it’s essential to resolve any past trauma as soon as possible.

To do so, forgive those who hurt you in the past. You may have been bullied at school or at home. It doesn’t matter who they are or what they’ve done: If they’ve hurt you in the past, forgive them and try to forget about it.

It may not be easy to forgive people for their wrongdoing, but it will help reduce your anger and resentment toward them. Once you have forgiven people from your past, try to avoid negative people. If someone regularly annoys or annoys you, try to avoid spending time with that person. The more time you spend with someone who bothers or annoys you, the more resentful and bitter you turn to that person (and everyone else).

5. Change your perspective

To change your perspective, you need to rethink your thinking. Why did this situation happen? What can you learn from it? How can you grow from that? How will long-term resentment benefit you?

Resentment is about clinging to an idea or belief, and it’s hard to let go. It’s important to see the other person’s side of things and their motivations for why they did what they did. Maybe your parents never hugged you when you were a kid because they didn’t think that’s the way to show love to children.

Something might have happened in his childhood, deciding not to touch him at all. If you look at the big picture and realize that many factors influenced how someone behaved toward you, it may be easier for you to understand why something happened and then happen.

6. Embrace anger, don’t let it control you

There are two important things to understand about anger and resentment. First of all, it is a natural emotion that we all experience periodically. And secondly, where there is anger, there is also almost always a touch of fear.

Anger plays an important role: it is a defense mechanism designed to protect us from potentially dangerous situations. And as such, your natural inclination may be to control your anger and keep it inside so that it does not escape our hands.

But not only can you not eliminate the emotion, but trying to do so can make you more resentful. And even worse, not treating your anger in a timely manner can allow it to turn into resentment, and then you have something that stings you.

7. Be grateful

Woman writing in her gratitude diary

Take the time to reflect on what you are grateful for. One of the benefits of gratitude is that it changes our perspective from what we don’t have to what we do have. An attitude of gratitude helps us to remember that there is still much good in our lives despite our challenges.

It’s important to be grateful for everything that has happened in your life, the good, the bad, and even the ugly.

Every experience makes you who you are today and has given you strengths, vulnerabilities and wisdom that you might never have gained otherwise. Think about how far you’ve come in your life instead of how far you’ve come. Focus on all the amazing things that fill your heart with joy and make your soul happy. Thank the people who love you unconditionally, especially when they see qualities in you that you don’t see yet.

Take away

In conclusion, resentment is a feeling that is not only painful and unfair, but will prevent you from moving forward in life. It is also a destructive force that can affect your physical and mental health. It is a waste of time, energy and mental space. You cannot recover what you have lost, nor can you change what happened. You can’t undo what’s been done, but you can learn from it and move on with your life.

Releasing bitterness and resentment is important to your well-being, but it can help you live a more positive and happy life, free from negative emotions and feelings.


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